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| 03:34pm 11/05/2004 |
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mood:  confused
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every time my laundry comes back I wind up missing things.
I'd ask, but frankly, I think I'm happier not knowing.
remind me to ask alek if they have this problem. |
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| let the bible belt come and save my soul |
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| 04:06pm 06/05/2004 |
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mood:  thoughtful
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[private filter]
Even in japan, getting your car fixed is an ordeal. It's just a replacement on the dashboard, people, it is not a major deal. bowing and apologizing and offering to commit suicide are not helping just fix my damn car. Jesus.
I got a card yesterday from my mom, for my birthday. she must have heard I was making money.
Dreamed about Granny. I was in her old house, the one by the river, with the weedy yard and the gravel drive. I was wearing sunday clothes but I knew it was a school day. Granny's house was full of people and I could tell by how tall they all were that I was still a kid. everything seemed big and hot and scary and sticky. and the air smelled like too much food, fried chicken and casserole and pots covered with aluminum foil. I couldn't find my mom and I felt like I was going to throw up, so I went through gran's house looking for a room that wasn't full of people. The house had way more rooms than it really had, and I think I saw the guys there too, somehwere, only they were grown up and they didn't talk to me, murmuring like all the other adults. LJ was in a suit and JJ was in a dark formal kimono and that's when I remembered that it must be after my dad's funeral. I started running through the rooms then. I felt all hot and sick and all I wanted to do was get out into the back yard to the creek and stick my hands and feet in for a minute or maybe go throw up in the grass somewhere where there weren't people and I could get away from the smells and the smoke. I couldn't find the back door and so I ran up the stairs to the landing and the hall and at the end of the hall was a door I don't remember. there was nobody there but I kept running until I reached the end and I put my hand on the handle and looked through the crack. there was light coming through. I remember thinking there had to be a window in there and maybe I could open it, so I opened the door. The light wasn't sunlight, it was hundreds and hundreds of red candles. And in the middle of the room was granny in a white dress. she turned around and smiled at me and she called me Luc, and she held out her brown wrinkled hands and I was so glad to see her that I fell down and started crying. She came over and hugged me and made little shushing sounds, her glass and shell bead necklace rattling, her hands in my hair. She told me that it would be all right, and I was going to stay with her, now. I opened my mouth to say I was glad but there was a noise like a shout or a door slamming, and something yanked me up and away and everything went dark and I woke up.
...i don't remember my dad's funeral. |
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| fucking hell |
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| 03:18pm 05/05/2004 |
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mood:  annoyed
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journal ate my post.
It was mostly thanks guys for dinner, LJ that cake was a work of art, JL you shouldn't have, man, and JJ, I promise I'll wear them under my pants for the next shoot.
Twist, I don't know where you found a bottle off the good stuff this side of georgia, but thanks.
and we'll have to move you off the futon before we can sell it. |
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Read 1 - Post |
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| neon in the window |
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| 09:30am 04/05/2004 |
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mood:  28
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they're at it again next door
this whole floor
I swear they're out to drive me crazy
but not right now I'm high as a cloud
I'm soft and gray and lazy
Smoking out the window
feeling far away
news on the radio
happy birthday happy birthday |
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Read 6 - Post |
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| jesus I'm tired. |
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| 10:52am 20/04/2004 |
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mood:  (olivia in hot pants... ^_^)
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back from recon. Me and JL think we found a really good spot for the tokyo base, but man it's gonna be a lot of work. Not that we worked the whole time (I think I must have gained five pounds just from that crab soup alone *_*) but driving around in tokyo traffic scouting locations, and taking the train... I think we might have just stayed on the yokohama line in a stupor, surrounded by apartment guides if LJ hadn't surprised us by turning up and helping out. (man we both so owe you. not that it's a good plan to leave JJ and twist alone together, but I'm glad you came. that lebanse taverna with the shawarma and garlic sauce saved my fucking life.)
so we have five weeks to move the base, work on the album release, I've got to get my car fixed up, and get rid of some of the furniture so we can get new instead of moving the futon held together with duct tape. ^^;
...I don't think irish oatmeal is supposed to be quite this crunchy. >< *chews*
JL came home and vanished into his office. I hope after we move it takes some of the pressure off him... it's like I hadn't seen him for two years since we started building up. But this week it was kind of like how it was that summer we first moved in the loft.
and also, we've got to drink up the metric ton of booze in the fridge before we go. that ought to take twist about five minutes. (just as well, I think I'm gonna need to be smashed every night just to go to sleep until we land again) |
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Read 1 - Post |
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| no, really, how CAN we sleep while our beds are burning? |
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| 08:44am 07/04/2004 |
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mood:  hungry
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I'm eating one of Twist's cocopuff bars.
it is fucking vile.
I'm eating it anyway. I don't have much choice. Nothing in the house to eat. There's twenty two half-finished bottles of various kinds of booze in the fridge, three bread wrappers with the heels, two jars of salsa with exactly one third missing, and someone's leftover rogan josh from three weeks ago. Jesus I'd be at the grocery if my car wasn't in the shop.
So me and J.L. are heading back to tokyo next week, J.L.'s got some family business to take care of (something about his granny's property or something) and we're gonna see about getting us a place in town, we spend so much time in the city these days anyway we might as well have some crash space there. I for one will be glad not to have to take that trip too many more times just to get to shojorama bay for the weekends.
just so long as the engine doesn't fall out of my car on the way. I know I should just break down and get a new one, because even if it is a classic it is a major money pit.
..either that or my mechanic is pilfering parts and selling them on ebay as souvenirs.
J.L., if you need me to go over that paperwork today for you before we leave, just let me know, okay? I'll be here most of the morning. I'm meeting Alek for lunch, so I'll be out then, but the rest of the time I'll be packing for the trip.
I'm looking forward to it, really. Cherry blossoms in full swing and decent fatoush salad and black pearls in my bubble tea. B) (and chicken shawarma and yellow rice and those perfect little falafel and a turkish coffee and...) |
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Read 6 - Post |
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| wtf, mate? |
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| 09:26am 23/03/2004 |
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mood:  weirded
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[Secured - Bandmembers Only]
Guys, I'm starting to get a little weirded out by our fans. I mean, I can see the thing about jl being a robot but what the fuck like LJ would ever *need* plastic surgery? Not so long as he's got lingering catholic guilt and access to a weight bench, man. that guy could benchpress ME.
That actor they got playing me in the video looks nothing like me. >< (of course I downloaded it!)
If Alek wasn't in Nagasaki this week playing with Attila the Band, I'd ask him if the Isaacs fen are this freaky. (Of course, I've seen them, and I think they're freakier. Since most of 'em would need to remeove their entire faces before going through an airport metal detector. All our fans seem to be.. well, a lot like twist, really. Which is pretty harmless.)
Speaking of which, I was driving back after taking JL to the office (sorry about what those kids did to your saturn, man. They're just enthusiastic, really, it should be out of the shop next week) and I heard joan jett doing "i love rock n' Roll" on the american rock station? I've never been way hot on that song, but I was thinking that twist could do a really good cover of that. Especially with his shirt off and if he didn't bother changing any gender specific pronouns. Just an idea for the Shojorama Park gig next week. A couple of classics go over pretty well on those.
and I got a dentist appointment to go to... next thing you know they'll be saying I'm a vampire and have to get my fangs filed down.
....Mother of god. Joey, we might need some better security on our internal memo net. > |
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Read 3 - Post |
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| 04:24pm 19/03/2004 |
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mood: hungry
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[secured - bandmembers only]
the loft is pretty quiet today, but I think that's mostly because twist had company last night and is still sleeping it off. Probably with the company. there was some candy colored thing in his room with him this morning, and it wasn't jj vacuuming around twist's inert form like he usually does. As long as he's standing up this weekend.
Not really much to say, I guess. I wonder where jj is?
my fangirl updated her website, and that nutzo mailing list has gone live.
how do they know what kind of underpants I wear?
...or if I even do?
(and I need a top? is someone volunteering? or is it a general sort of reccomendation? or what? do I really wanna know?)
..I'm hungry. LJ left ten homemade veggie lasagnas in the freezer.
I'd kiss him if he wasn't flat on his back in the grass next to a fjord somewhere smoking pot. the fucker. |
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Post |
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| I hate robbing banks. |
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| 09:39pm 16/03/2004 |
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mood:  boy racer
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(secured)
Have you ever seen west side story? (someday)
when was the last time you sat between my knees, with your hair in a twist in my hands and your mouth open under mine?
I want the alleyway in the rain in august, cool brick and warm water and your scent and your hands.
Playing across town, this weekend. I saw the flyer down at the fat cat club with j tonight, your face lithographed in color that didn't suit you, looking at me like a stranger.
spring can't come soon enough. |
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| There's no such thing as safe sex anymore |
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| 02:49pm 16/03/2004 |
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mood:  silly
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♥Loverbat and ♥Liquidskye | - Trying to have twenty-eight thousand superior kids.
- Can't stand to hold hands as it mightn't lead to pregnancy
- Would volunteer to be the two responsible for re-populating the planet.
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Read 1 - Post |
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| you know it ain't easy |
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| 09:41am 16/03/2004 |
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mood:  amused
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jesus h. christ!
*falls over*
I can see why you get such a charge out of this, j.
(I left New Orleans when I was ten and my daddy died, my mamma changed my name to Lawrence, and I grew up the rest of the way in Red Rock, which is a little smear of a place an hour out of atlanta. ^_~ ya'll can have that for free.) |
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Read 2 - Post |
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| I reached inside myself today |
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| 01:14pm 15/03/2004 |
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Woke up this morning with the sun on my face and the sound of JJ singing in the shower, smells of frying bacon and fresh coffee, blue sky going on forever outside my window. It felt like I'd been in some kind of hibernation for the past six months. JL was actually still in the loft with hot tea and the Yomori Shinbun, I'd started to think he was a figment of my imagination. LJ (I keep thinking I KNOW somebody named LJ *nudge*) is getting ready for his trip back to Amsterdam, but still manages to make what my granny would call, in breakfast terms, "a big flobby mess."
After which, lying around the loft with twist and watching twin snakes kick JJ and LJ's asses sounded like a pretty good thing, except due to the aforementioned breakfast, if I didn't move, I was going to atrophy until I actually became part of the futon. (and lying around exanimate with twist in the room is not exactly a safe occupation, you know.)
So I went out to the park and found my favorite kissaten just opening up, got a cup of the usual and sat out on the patio, watching the schoolgirls go by. They've switched over from their winter uniforms to the spring ones, it makes all the difference in the world on the street. Usually it looks like a walking funeral.
Some of them stopped for my autograph, which seemed kind of strange, after being in the states for so long where nobody knows who I am. I totally ignored my notebook and the lyrics I was supposed to be working on, sat back and watched the morning go by. No big epiphanies or anything, just... it's good to be back home.
Funny, I never thought I'd call this place where I barely speak the language and am two heads taller than everybody else home. |
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Read 6 - Post |
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| these aren't my pants. |
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| 11:09am 09/03/2004 |
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mood:  dead
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went to album release party on saturday.
woke up monday with soco and coke in my hair. drove back to shojorama from tokyo.
going to bed now.
mrrph. |
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| 01:11pm 02/03/2004 |
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(private)
I haven't seen him since we met for christmas. It's been months sicne I saw him here.
it's still too soon for sakura.
maybe I'll go to the park anyway. |
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| it's the stuff of country songs |
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| 10:52am 02/03/2004 |
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mood:  indescribable
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why is it that when I have the most to do my time always ends up getting wasted with other tertiary shit? Not that I'm really climbing the walls or anything about getting back to Shojorama Bay, since most of the importiant stuff is done, it's just the stuff that I *ought* to do that always winds up bogging me down.
Kinda nervous about this new promo. I mean sure, we've had an album out for a while but that was before evie o. started backing us, before we got our big contract. SO now it's really major, not just the idol of the month club. I know I want us to be successful, you know, and I'm sure Twist's every waking moment is occupied with absolute super-stardom, but it's kind of like teetering on the brink.
I'm glad we're all going for new ink this weekend. there's a lot of comfort in that needle. Keeps you from thinking too much. Of course, if I keep thinking about body mods as therapy, I'm gonna wind up looking like a circus sideshow. LJ doesn't though, but something tells me he's got his piercing and penace laid out years in advance, jsut to be sure. sounds like something he'd do.
god, I really miss those guys. jj's cotton candy pink and JL's... well, anyway.
better do some laundry or something. Later. |
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Read 4 - Post |
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| winter cityside |
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| 04:31pm 07/01/2004 |
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mood: listless
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I thought St Petersburg was cold. But then, maybe it was the company keeping me warm then, Big furry coats in softly falling snow, small cups of hot black coffee, strong enough to knock your pants off.
Things are picking up, now that new year's is over and the anticipation of spring is being beaten into our heads by the usual japanese seasonal sensiblities. JL is lost under contracts for spring releases, maybe a fresh look for the band on the new album cover (whatever that means, I expect we'll all be in school uniforms and covered in petals) lists of new raw cuts to polish up for the album. JL is working out a contract for a new anime series opening theme, competition seems pretty tough for it, though.
I'm restles, I find, back an apartment that seems too small, ready for a new album, a new song, a new motion to move in. I'm tired of last year but can't just shake it yet. I alway's thought christmas should be in the bitterest bit of late january and new year's on may first, with the buds hanging heavy on the trees. But nobody asked me, huh?
I gotta get down to the gymn and renew my membership, LJ is showing me up in the ripped abdominals department, and probably always will, but the last thing I want to do is start looking like a tired out rock star.
even if I do feel like one. |
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Read 3 - Post |
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| listen to the bluegrass band take the chill from the air... |
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| 08:49pm 22/08/2003 |
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mood: nostalgic
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New Icons, Mars and JJ's doodle and fanart.. you should see the mail I've been getting.
I suppose I should make a post about the battle of the bands, and just how good vodka is on your skin, and Snake's adventures at It's a Big Cock After All, but it has been heavy and hot today, amd fall is coming, slow and welcome, mellowing.
I've thought about maybe taking off for a weekend, out to the country, but countryside japan is nothing like countryside georgia, that's for sure. And that's the countryside I'm thinking of, woodsmoke and bittersweet on the vine, yellowing woods and apple cider stands.
Put in some of my old CDs today, thought about a plane ticket. there's nobody there I want to go back and see, but I can think of a few to take with me there, to the mountains.
It's raining now, and this roof isn't tin, the ice in my vodka and tonic melted long ago. I was never much on mint juleps, but I'd almost want one now, just because it still tastes like home.
(I'd take you with me, baby, down by the river slow and green, in the hollow where the leaves won't fall and a hanged man walks and we'd dare each other to go, ruined foundations and Atlanta under neon, the best BBQ to be found under the sun... I wonder how you'd look-- they don't give you napkins at Coon's Pit... I'd go just to watch you lick your fingers.) |
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Post |
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| don't pay the ferryman |
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| 08:44pm 07/07/2003 |
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(secured post)
I've made a lot of bad deals in my life. but you know, most of the time, it wasn't like I had any choice. and sometimes, even though it hurt, it was enough that I can do something.
so augustine wants to fuck with me in exchange for leaving Alec alone. Fine. I can cope with that. I'm used to that kind of plea barganing, that kind of payment. It was a rough life, and I'm not proud of it, and I don't want it out, but I can't say it didn't shapen my edges, didn't make me tougher. it's one of those things, you know. if it doesn't kill you...
but it can. I've seen it. I've found it, I've been in the middle of it, I've been hauled to the station and I've been questioned and I've been the only mourner at the funeral, those boys who weren't quite sharp enough, or fast enough, or who couldn't learn to harden their skins in time.
Jeff was my roomate, in atlanta, after I dropped out of school, for all of 43 days. he was young, not even sixteen though he said he was eighteen, and his eyes hadn't gotten hard yet. they never had the chance.
forty three days. by the end of it he owed three dealers about ten thousand dollars all around, finally spread for the most agreeable of them for enough to get him good and wasted, and slit his wrists in the bathroom of the local club. I still have a poem he wrote, and a snapshot, his favorite blue button-down shirt.
three days ago I was at the Neverland for coffee and blackmail with A. Augustine, esquire, and saw J.J. parked outside with his dealer.
Yesterday I sold off my second best fender, the '86 blue, not my jasmine one. Riki down at the Escapade in Roppongi has wanted my black suzuki custom bike for a year now, since I bought it with the first money from our contract with Teaux Teaux Nihon. last night he paid me cash.
I'll make it back in no time flat, I've learned a eye for money, and hanging on to it, and it's really just a tip of the iceberg in what I've got laid back, stocks, real estate.. this face isn't going to last me forever.
but some things I'd rather not live through twice. |
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| how do they know if the dimensions of my cock are punishing or not? |
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| 09:23pm 25/06/2003 |
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jezzs, twist, somebody out there is writing porny fic about the two of us. I don't know if i'm weirded or amused. JJ you read this shit all the time, man, what do you think? It'll probably wind up smack dab on the front page of that Wicked culture place, and it's a damn good thing Aleksander doesn't go reading that. Although the thought of that Stolichnaya brat finding it.. urgh. I just don't wanna know.
what is anybody doing this weekend? anything? you guys want to go see a movie or something? JJ you want to go cruise downtown? I just got my car waxed?
anybody want to know what wolverine sounds like in japanese?
are we still a band? where the hell is Lucas? |
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Read 3 - Post |
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| waiting... |
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| 11:27pm 16/06/2003 |
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(secured post)
there is one message flashing on my machine, one number red and recent in my cell's redial.
LJ is brooding. JJ is faking it. JL is making the calls. Twist is staying drunk.
I've abandoned them. and now, I have to pay the price for it, twice over.
one message.
he knows my name.
I wathced a samurai drama on TV last night, black and white, and didn't understand most of it. empty house, windows open, hot. LJ would usually be there, but he's out of town, and I never got to say how good his mannicoti was last night. I haven't said much of anything.
the black and white samurai fell in love with a courtesan and wasn't there when his lord was betrayed in battle. he killed himself.
there are only so many kinds of saving grace. |
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loverbat's journal
ianiceboy